THE GUIDES · TRAITS DE VOUS
Ten questions to get to know each other as a couple
You may know each other’s favourite dishes by heart, but less about what helps after a bad day. Here are ten questions to get to know each other better as a couple. Choose one, give the answer room, then swap roles. No purchase or knowledge of Saju is needed to begin.
Ten questions to choose from freely
1. When your day has been difficult, what would you like me to do first?
2. What small recent moment with me made you feel good?
3. In which situations do you prefer to think before answering?
4. What common habit would you like to keep, even for a busy week?
5. When we organize something, what matters most to you?
6. What gesture makes you feel that your effort has been noticed?
7. On what subject would you like me to ask more questions?
8. What personal space would you like to preserve better?
9. Which difference between us would you find interesting to understand?
10. What little thing would you like to try together this week?
1. Helping after a difficult day
The first question distinguishes several expectations: being heard, finding a solution, changing the subject or having a little quiet. Reflect back what you hear without immediately searching for the right answer. “Would you like me to listen for a few minutes?” lets the other person clarify. Help becomes more practical when it does not rest entirely on an assumption.
2. Noticing moments that already matter
With the second question, look for a specific memory, however small. A coffee made for you, a message at the right time, a walk without a phone. Explain what you enjoyed about that moment. This gives more information than a very general compliment. The other person may discover that an ordinary gesture meant a lot to you.
3. Making room for different paces
The third question opens a conversation about the time each person sometimes needs. Answering later does not necessarily mean refusing to talk. Agree how to announce a pause and return to the subject. A concrete reference such as “after dinner” is easier to understand than an indefinite “we’ll see”.
4. Choosing a realistic habit
The fourth question concerns what you want to protect, not an ideal programme. A habit can take just a few minutes: sharing a detail of the day, walking to the corner or eating together. Check that it fits both schedules. You can adjust a suggestion after trying it.
5. Understanding how you organise things
For the fifth question, take a familiar situation: an outing, a meal or a weekend. One person may want to know the time; the other may want to keep an option open. Name what matters and what can remain flexible. You gain useful information for next time, without reducing the other person to a character trait.
6. Making recognition visible
The sixth question clarifies how effort is noticed. A thank-you, a comment on a thoughtful detail or help in return mean different things to different people. You can describe a time when you felt appreciated. The aim is to explain your experience without listing everything that was missing.
7. Opening up a topic that has been left aside
The seventh question makes room for an activity, an everyday concern or a project rarely discussed. Ask what the other person wants to share before adding more questions. You can discover a topic without immediately offering an opinion. Sometimes the attention requested is simply remembering to ask about it a few days later.
8. Naming a personal space
The eighth question might concern time alone, an activity or a friendship. Talk about what makes room for it in your shared arrangements. Describing it concretely prevents it from remaining a vague request. Each person can also say how they would like to reconnect afterwards. Discuss the need for space in your own words.
9. Explore a difference without correcting it
The ninth question invites curiosity. Choose a difference you can discuss calmly, then ask how the other person experiences it. The aim is not to find the best way of doing things. You may see that two approaches work in different situations, or simply understand a preference that has rarely been explained.
10. Ending with an experiment that suits you
The final question turns the conversation into a small suggestion. Cooking with what is already at home, trying a new walk or setting aside time without screens is enough. Choose something both want to try. Afterwards, say what you liked and what you would change, without evaluating the entire relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do we have to answer the ten questions that night?
No. A conversation can stop after a single interesting answer. Keeping the other questions for later leaves time to observe what has been said.
What if we answer very differently?
Ask for an example before concluding. Two different words can describe close expectations, while one word can cover separate things.
Can these questions be adapted to a friendship?
Yes. Replace couple habits with the moments you share. Questions about listening, appreciation and preferences work for several kinds of connection.
If you enjoy conversation prompts
These questions are editorial suggestions, not a test or a diagnosis. You can also discover your reference points with the free chart. For a symbolic reading for two, ENTRE NOUS costs €2.99, with a free opening; both people’s birth date, time and place are required.
Sources and notes on method
Original questions and ideas from Traits de vous, offered as conversation prompts. No research protocol or measured effectiveness is claimed. Prices and required details come from the product brief validated for this preparation.